Dearest Depression

Dearest Depression,
you no longer hold me down.
Bound in your chains I am not.
Finally smiling over frowning,
A reward for as long as I have fought.

Dearest Depression,
Twelve weeks cut free,
a new addition to my story.
But something new for me;
a chapter of glory!

Dearest Depression,
I thank you,
for making me who I am now.
Though I've made it through,
I'm still a little scared somehow.

But I have the strength to fight through anything, now.

-rachelleeashlee<3.

Fake.

I show my fake
ugly little smile.
But my hands shake
fearful, like they have for a while.

I mask what I'm feeling
to please my peers.
But loss of my well-being
is one of my greatest fears.

I wish I had something
to be proud of for myself.
But I've got nothing
besides some paintings on the shelf.

I feel like a passer by
you see me and thats all.
But maybe more than just, "Hi"
could make my awful mask fall.


-rachelleeashlee<3.

--BTW. Ten weeks and Four days cut free.--

Why can't I stop?

Once again

Broken hearts beating fast.

I feel insane

for letting this last.

You don't love me.

But I love you.

I should set myself free,

because none of this is true.

I'd give you it all
over and over
But I know i'll fall.
Yet I still want to be your lover.

Just one more kiss.
I'm setting myself up,
and i know this.
So, why can't I stop?

(..I worry for my wrists.)

-rachelleeashlee<3.

Love or Lust

Broken hearts beating fast,

Our bodies pressed together.

Hoping this moment will last,

Knowing this could end forever.

Clothes stripping, 

Heat rising.

Sheets flipping,

Love disguising.

My heart is in this,

but only mine,

and not his.

at least, he doesn't show a sign.

 I want to ask you

if it could be

that you love me, too.

'Baby, Do you love me?'

-rachelleeashlee<3.